Your mouth is God's brothel.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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