how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
