if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
