she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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