Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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