I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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