i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
