awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
