Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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