yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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