I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What drink are we having for lunch?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
