Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
