Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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