Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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