Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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