I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
