I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
