this just has baby written all over it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
