Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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