what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
