Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
