I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
