Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
