I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Are we still banned from the library?
I will pee on everything he values.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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