Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
