It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
