is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize