Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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