you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
