help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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