i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
