i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
