I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
