Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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