Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
