I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
