I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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