you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
