THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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