apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize