Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
