shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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