how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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