No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
