sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
