we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
