Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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