We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
