he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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