You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
