I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
