forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize