cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize