Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
