Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
