ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
