Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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