My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
