hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
