Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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