what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
